So I know you’re thinking, Gouda Life, the big day of love and romance is coming up and I need your help! What do I get my lover of cheese and holder of my heart?
Well, you are in luck. Because I’m about to tell fill you in on a secret. For starters, I am a cheese lover, so I know what (most) cheese lovers want. I look at loving cheese on a spectrum. I, for instance, am on the far end of the spectrum. Not completely obsessed-on-the-verge-of-consuming-my entire-life, but I’m towards that end. Take this list and really think about the person you’re looking to swoon. Tweak some things if you see fit. These are just my recommendations to get you started.
I ask that you just keep in mind that this is a list focused around the whole day. To perfect the cheesy Valentine’s Day, it needs to be a complete experience. From the smells, the sounds, the feels, and the tastes. Alright, are you ready? Hold on to ya’ butts…

Sliced your way.
- Hand Held Cheese Slicer. I am always a fan of the fanciest cheese knives a girl can use (see number 4 on this list), but sometimes, I just want the perfect width of cheese of my choosing. As much as I’d like to say I’m a fan of the marble slicers with the handle and the wire attached, I’m not. From my personal experience, the wire only lasts about 3/4 of a brick of cheese before it needs to be replaced. Do they look cool? Absolutely. Do they work on the majority of cheese? No way. Is replacing the wire a pain in the butt? You bet your bottom dollar it is. I recommend a slicer similar to the Norpro Adjustable Cheese Slicer ($9.20 at Jet.com). This cheese slicer allows YOU to make the decision on how thick of a slice you’re looking far. Handheld, high quality, hard-cheese approved.
Check yo’self before you wreck yo’self.
- Wine Wipes. This is one of those things that I wonder, why the hell didn’t I think of this?! My answer to myself would be, Well, Cate. You didn’t truly enjoy a glass of red wine until about a year ago when you decided to become a semi-grown up. ANYWAY, I honestly haven’t used these yet myself, but how could they go wrong? No one likes wine teeth. If anyone tells you it’s sexy, they are lying to you. You can order all sorts of these bad boys online from WineWipes.com or at your local winery. (KC peeps, Cellar Rat has ’em!)
Crack is not an actual ingredient in these crackers.
- Snacks to Accompany Your Cheese. Of course the cheese is the Beyoncé of the evening, but why not step up the background dancer game? Nuts are always a good choice. Almonds are my personal favorite, but walnuts are a good go-to as well. Crackers or thin bread will add a unique texture to your platter. I’m mildly obsessed with what I always use to call Crack Crackers, but actually they are Crunchmaster Multi-Seed Crackers. They add the perfect crunch to your cheese arrangement. My only warning is to NOT go overboard with flavors. Don’t overpower your Beyoncé, the queen doesn’t appreciate it. Other suggestions are of course, fruit. I’m not a fig girl, personally, but people say figs are where it’s at. I’m a simple cheese woman. Crisp red apples and BIG green grapes are my favorites.
Aren’t they beautiful?
- Cheese Knives With a Story. Anyone who is anyone can waltz on down to Bed Bath and Beyond, use their 20% coupon, and get you a lovely set of cheese knives. I get it, I’ve done it. It’s a useful gift. But if you really want to woo your partner, take it to the next level. My husband found some pretty LEGIT cheese accessories from our (hopefully future) friends at Brooklyn Slate Co. They are a pretty sweet duo with a cool story and they make some LEGIT things. I would do some questionable things to get my hands on the Cheese Knife Essential Kit. (Just kidding, Mom, no I wouldn’t… I’ll just put them on my Christmas list…)
Your nose won’t know what to do.
- WoodWick Candle. You need to SPECIFICALLY get a WoodWick. They look good, sound good, and by golly do they smell good. I recommend the Sand and Driftwood or the Bonefire. DAYUM.
Our set up.
- Record Player. Girl! You must be outside yo’ mind! At times, but I think it is essential in the perfect Valentine’s evening. We have recently become record player snobs and I think I ‘get it’ now. We’ve got ourselves an Audio-Technica AT-LP60 and it makes for some smooooothhh jammmmsss. Not too expensive, and does a damn good job. We’ve just started our record collection, but whatever you two love birds are in to, DO IT. We’ve been between Ray Charles and Minus the Bear.
Treat yo’self.
- Cheese. Of course! How ever much or little you want. Try out a new cheese together. Get recommendations from your local cheese shop. Whatever cheese you get, enjoy it with the one you love.
That’s all I’ve got. May you and yours grow ‘mold’ together and enjoy this Valentine’s Day!
-C